Top 3 Tips for Fibro Chicks

Yesterday my fiancé and I went to my future brother-in-law's graduation. We didn't get home until midnight! Now, you all must know what that does to the following day: burning pain, pin-prick pain, fogginess, and irritability. Today's been a mess!

I found out that one of my former college classmates is pregnant. While I am happy for her and her husband, it was shocking to me because my first reaction was not, "Good for them, I'm so excited for her!" like it's always been in the past. Today was the first time I have been freaked out that I'm 24 and have no prospects of having a baby on the immediate horizon. Logically I know it's silly, but that biological clock started screaming this morning! My fiancé was incredible at listening to me freaking out about being scared that my body might not be able to have kids because of the fibro. He reminded me that I'm getting married in less than 4 weeks, I have a great apartment, a couple of cats, and wonderful friends!
Fibro Tip #1: Acknowledge the great things you already have going on in your life and be happy with where you are.

I've been beading lace for my wedding dress. By "I've been beading," I mean that I'm now in my 39th hour of hand beading every single bead onto the lace. Today I left it on the couch for about 90 seconds while I went to the bathroom and when I got back there were beads pulled out and a hole in it. So if anyone wants a free cat... No, I jest, but I was so mad at my very adorable, very curious cat for a while after that happened. After I stopped freaking out quite so much, I called my sister and we talked about the last week. I felt a lot better after we talked. I should be able to fix the lace without it being noticeable.
Fibro Tip #2: Know who's in your support system--and don't be afraid to use them!

My fiancé just got done with his first year of teaching, so he's home for the summer. He took the laundry to the laundromat, switched it to the dryers, and brought it home. Today while my fiancé was comforting me, he mentioned that he knows he has to do a little bit more housework than we originally would have expected him to do because we never know when I'm going to have a bad day like today and I won't be able to do everything that needs to get done. His willingness to accept that for the next 70 years is so fantastic!
Fibro Tip #3: Marry someone amazing.

Hope your days have been calm and gentle!

What should you do when you DO feel great?

I woke up yesterday morning feeling great! I wrote an article, walked two miles, did yoga, and showered--all before 9am! Then I got ready for the day and went to the post office, Walmart, Joann's, and Michaels. When I got home I made lunch, played with my hair (hot rollers!), did dishes, and cleaned up the house.

And then I started hurting. A lot. Way more than normal. This morning I hurt a lot more than I usually do. So what should you do when you wake up feeling amazing? Here are my top 5 tips:

DO exercise. If you're used to exercising, do your regular routine and let yourself feel fantastic and powerful while you do it. If you don't usually exercise, do some gentle stretching and easy walking to get your blood moving. Do not decide you're going to go running (I didn't do this today). Do not add another 1/2 mile to your walk just because you feel so good (I did this today). You will end up hurting like crazy.

DO leave your house. If you have a few (short) errands to run, go do them. If you have nothing that you need to do (lucky you!), go to the park or something. Seeing the sun is very important and most of the time, leaving your house is the first thing to go when you're feeling crappy. But you're feeling great! So leave your house!!!

DO eat healthy food. Sometimes getting out of the house is dangerous. Starbucks calls during the morning, frozen yogurt screams in the afternoon. Don't give in! If you're anything like me, any huge change (excess salt or sugar) to your diet will make you hurt like crazy. I think the worst thing in the world is doing something preventable and then paying for it. When you feel great, one of the best ways to keep feeling great (no matter if you have fibro or not) is to eat healthy food! Wraps, salads, and light sandwiches are perfect for lunch!

DO rest. When you feel amazing, it's the easiest thing in the world to feel invincible and push through the day without stopping (see my anecdote above--ha!). Rest! If you're used to taking a nap, take a nap! If you watch the noon news, sit down, relax, and watch the news. Keep to your schedule, and take a break!

DO acknowledge reality. You feel awesome today! Yay! But tomorrow you might feel like crap. Revel in your moment today because these days come few and far between. Don't make plans for tomorrow that are similar to your plans for today, because you don't know how you'll feel tomorrow. But you know the other reality??? You feel great today!!! Enjoy!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Top 5 Apps for FibroChicks

I have my phone with me all the time. I charge it every night and sometimes I use it so much that it dies by the evening and I have to plug it back in. So, silly comments about addiction aside, I thought I would share my top 5 that pertain to having chronic pain!

1. My Pain Diary. The thing we all share is that we have pain. This is one of only two paid apps I've ever gotten and it is absolutely worth the $4.99 is costs. You can track your pain locations, intensity, type of pain, remedy (if any), and weather. It has calendars and graphs and a place for notes. It's a really fantastic app!

2. Sleep Cycle. This is the other paid app I've bought. It was $1.99 and, again, totally worth it. It's really easy: you set your alarm for the time you want to get up by choosing a 30 minute window during which the alarm will go off. Since it's tracking your sleep cycles, it wakes you up (with an alarm of your choosing) at the point in your sleep cycle that's best for you, within those 30 minutes. You can "snooze" and it'll keep going off every five minutes. It keeps a few different graphs: time in bed, quality of sleep, activities during the day correlating to your sleep quality, etc. I highly recommend this app, if for nothing else, the gentle wake-up every morning.

3. MyFitnessPal. Amazing free app to track your food and exercise! You can use a barcode scanner to scan your food so you don't have to enter all the nutritional info. It keeps a graph of your carbs-protein-fat ratio, tells you how many calories you have "left" in your day based on your fitness goals, tracks your exercise, and saves your "favorite" foods if you use them often. I've been using this one off and on for over a year and it's incredibly helpful!

4. Allrecipes. If you're going to track your food with MyFitnessPal, you might as well have a great app that has wonderful recipes. Save your favorites, add your own, and adjust recipes for any amount. While, yes, you can find this on your computer and either print it or just read it from your laptop, I like using my phone better. I hate having my laptop in the kitchen, don't have a recipe holder, and my phones already with me in the kitchen, so why not? The only thing I would caution against is touching your phone while you're baking. My last phone was definitely covered in powdered sugar at one point...

5. Viggle. Now this one is just for fun, but hey, you're mostly at home, so you might as well get something out of it, right? All you do is "check in" to a TV show when it starts and you get points. These points (when you've accumulated enough of them) then translate into real-world rewards: gift cards, discounts, and products. I'm at home most days, but don't watch a lot of TV. With this app, you just have to turn on your TV, let the app listen to the show you're checking into, check in, and then you're set for the duration of the show, and you can turn the TV back off! It's awesome!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Fibro = No More Running

Love my dirty old running shoes. Pumas are the best!

You know those times you feel like your old self again? And you forget for just a couple of minutes? And you go running because that's what you used to do?

Well, that happened. I woke up this morning feeling good. I've been walking outside lately. Today when I was out there I felt so good I started running! I made it 1/2 a mile and walked the rest of the mile on the loop. I stretched out when I got home and was starting to come down from the "runner's high" but still felt pretty good.

And now, 30 minutes later, I am paying for it. Everything hurts multiplied by a thousand. It's so hard to accept that that life is never going to happen for me again! :-( I miss running so much!

Moral of the story: Even though it's hard to accept our new lives with our conditions, it's pretty important that we do accept it and adapt. And every now and again, it's important to remind ourselves that our lives have changed and we can no longer do the things we used to do. Although, you will pay for it later... ;-)

Stay strong, everyone!

DIY for the Fibro Bride: Save-the-Dates

Congratulations! You're engaged! Once you've figured out when and where you're getting married, the first thing you need to do is get save-the-dates. I assume that the reason you're reading this is because you want to make them! A lot of fibromyalgia patients have part-time jobs or are unemployed, so this is an easy way that you can get great looking save-the-date postcards without spending a lot of money or having too much stress put on you.

The front of my Save-the-Date postcard.

Materials

• Card stock
• Printer
• Computer
• Powerpoint (or something like it)
• Scissors or paper-cutter
• Postcard stamps
• Pen
• Time

Instructions

• Go to WeddingChicks.com and find their "DIY Printable Wedding Template" section (the previous link is direct to this section).
• Choose a template you like. This can take a long time! I liked most of them and messed around with a lot of them.
• Input your information and your colors to the template.
• Play around with them! Don't print anything without being 100% sure it's exactly what you want. You can be as picky as you want--it's your wedding!
• "Create" your print.
• Download it.
• Save it. Save your work. lol
• Open Powerpoint.
• Review the USPS rules for postcards here to make sure you have the right size. If you don't have the legal size, they won't mail it and you won't be able to reuse it.
• Review the main points of your Save-the-Date. I used mine as an announcement, too, so I told people that we're getting married, I told them the date, what city it would be in, my email address, and that an invitation would follow. There isn't anything else that needs to be on there. There's also not much room for anything else on a postcard.

The back of my Save-the-Date postcard.

• Start with a rectangle that is the size of your postcard. You'll hide this later, but it's important to contain your objects.
• I made the back of the postcard monochromatic (the red lines are from the screenshot, letting me know that our names are misspelled!) because I didn't want to completely deplete my ink supply. Obviously, you'll need to choose your colors according to what you want.
• Try to match the font that you use on the back of your postcard with the one the template uses on the front. 
• You can play with what is in the foreground and background to make any "watermark"-type situations you want. You can also do this by messing around with the transparency of an object.
• Make sure you have your return address on your postcard. Mine is under the grey rectangle--don't need everybody knowing where I live! :-)
• Once the back is exactly how you like it, group it together.
• Save it.
• Copy it and paste the copy next to the original so that you have two postcard backs next do each other.
• Save.
• Get yourself a new slide in the same "presentation."
• Insert your previously downloaded front of the Save-the-Date on the new slide.
• Copy and paste it so you have two postcard fronts next to each other (see below).

Screen shot of the two slides.

• Make sure that they have the same margins, so when you print them they'll end up matching. This part can be tedious and very irritating. Be patient.
• Save. :-)
• Load your printer with card stock.
• Print only one of the slides first. Eg. 30 copies of the front of the postcard.
• Figure out how your printer works: do you need to flip the pages over or around or backwards to get the other side of the postcard to print where it needs to?
• Print the other side.
• Cut them out!
• Get your postcard stamps out and start stamping! Make sure you use postcard stamps and not regular ones; you'll save about 50% of your stamp money!
• Address them.
• Mail them! :-)

You're done! I received a fantastic response to mine--people loved them! They look so professional and, while they do take a few hours to make yourself, it's completely worth it.

When you DIY, Destiny Is Yours! 

Wedding Plans

Yesterday I went to Louisville to work on wedding stuff. I met with a caterer, had lunch with my mom and future mother-in-law, and went shopping. It's a two hour trip there and back. I left at 6:45am and didn't get home until 8:15pm. This is what I feel like today:

That is my kitten, Jett. He is also very tired.

So, how do you have a DIY wedding with fibro? Starting Thursday, I will be running a new mini-blog series about wedding prep for ladies with fibro and other chronic illnesses. It will be updated on Mondays and Thursdays with quick tips and photos of what I'm working on. Please stay tuned!

Tip Number One: Don't do 14 hour days and expect the next day to be productive...!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Oscars Party vs. Fibro

A couple of weeks ago I won tickets to the sanctioned Cincinnati Oscars event through our local ABC news station: WCPO! I was so excited to go! I spent a week making my dress (40 hours...14 hours on the beading alone!) and figuring out what I was going to do with my hair. I was tweeting like crazy and working up to the last day to get my dress ready.

Sunday afternoon came, and I was tired. So tired and achy. I had to keep telling myself that it was going to be fun and I literally talked myself through getting dressed and putting on those 4 inch heels! I was excited to go, but I was hurting so much.

We went to the Hilton in Cincinnati and had an absolute blast! The first part of the evening was a silent auction in a huge, beautiful ballroom with appetizers and an Elvis impersonator. "Elvis" was really good! The food was pretty tasty, too.

The room from the back.

I started getting tired of standing after we'd been there for about half an hour. But we still had 45 minutes until we could go upstairs and sit! We went back to the lobby area and found seats...with the other 75 year old ladies! :-)

Our table.

When we went upstairs for dinner, we realized that our seats were at the WCPO table! We got to sit with the chief meteorologist (and his wife), the director of sales (and her husband), a reporter (and her husband), and another reporter (and his son). They were all so nice! I sat next to Karen (the sales director) and we talked all evening. She was fantastic!

The food was so good, too! We had an amazing salad, short ribs, and banana cream pie. I loved it!

Dinner!

Josh had a competition the very next morning in Louisville, so we had to leave the party around 10pm. I was kind of bummed out that we had to leave, but I was hurting like crazy by that point and the ride home is just a blur.

Looking back on that evening, I think there are things to learn for girls with fibro who need to dress up and go out:

• Wear a comfortable dress. I made sure my dress wasn't too tight and the fabric that touched my skin was soft enough that it didn't hurt. 
• Find shoes that look amazing but don't kill your feet to the point that you can barely move the next day. I did not do this well. Four inch high stilettos are gorgeous but so incredibly impractical! Ouch.
• Nap ahead of time. I didn't do this because I was working on my dress and my hair. I was ready to go home by around 8pm because I was so tired and already hurt so much. Make sure you have enough stamina to get through the evening.
• Do NOT have anything panned for the next day. Anything. This is, again, something I failed at. With the competition in Louisville the next day, I had to be up by 5am and on the road by 6am. It was horrible and stretched me way too thin. I'm pretty immobile today, which is less than ideal.
• Have fun! Parties like this don't come around too often, and if you've decided to go to something like this, make sure you have fun.

In the evening of Party vs. Fibro, the party won! :-) I had such a fantastic time at the party and met so many wonderful people that even though I've hurt for 36 hours straight, it was worth it.

Josh and me!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Water, Quiet, and Sleep

Last night as I was falling asleep, I felt a migraine coming on. Normally, if I feel one coming during the day I take Midol. Weird, I know, but it's the only thing that (sometimes) works. Since it was 11:30pm and I was trying to sleep, however, I didn't take it because it has caffeine in it. I woke up around 4:30am with a throbbing migraine. Joy of all joys.

I dragged myself out to the couch (because otherwise I would have just stayed in bed all day), took my meds, ate breakfast, drank coffee, kissed my fiancé goodbye, turned off all the lights, and turned down the TV volume to less than half of what it normally is. And it still feels like everyone on it is screaming.

It's been snowing all day and it's beautiful and I can't even bear to look at it! I peeked outside long enough to get a couple of photos, but it's too bright. I didn't even write this morning because the computer screen with the brightness turned down was too bright.

At one point earlier today, my cats knocked something over and there was a moderately loud (well, to me it was loud) crash. I was so nauseated that the sudden sound made me throw up! That's only happened a few times and it still surprises me.

I was trying to write this as a "Yay, you can get through a migraine!" type post, but it's not really sounding that way, is it...? Let's see...tips for getting through a migraine:

Staying hydrated!

1. Stay hydrated. If you are feeling really horrible, it's easy to not be hungry or thirsty. But if you let yourself get dehydrated, you won't know when your migraine is gone because you'll have one of those huge there-is-no-water-in-my-body headaches.
2. Do not allow anyone to enter your space if they are not going to be quiet. Just don't. If you have a lot of people in your house, then put yourself in the bedroom or den or somewhere other than the living room. Your biggest priority needs to be to feel better and having a ton of noise will not make that happen.
3. If you can, sleep. I only got five hours of sleep last night, and even if I didn't have a migraine, I'd be feeling it! I haven't been able to sleep because my head hurts too much, but if you can, do. It does help.

Gentle hugs and quiet goodbyes 'til next time!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

More Than My Condition

I wrote this piece on Thursday, but I couldn't post it because there wasn't Internet. Well played, Hyatt.

Yesterday I came back to Louisville with my fiancé for the Kentucky Music Educators Association (KMEA) Conference. This is a conference I know very well; I attended workshop sessions for five years in a row during my undergrad and presented research posters at the university research sessions during my last two years of school.

This year, I am not a music education student anymore, so I can’t attend the conference as a student; nor am I an educator, so I cannot attend as a professional. A lot of my peers are attending this year as professionals and there are a few of my undergrad friends who are still in school, so they’re attending as students. I am here, but I can’t attend. Weirdest feeling ever.

Last night I was looking at the KMEA schedule of events and there are so many workshops that look fascinating or are led by an educator I know. It’s kind of heartbreaking to see what I am missing in my potential career of choice; the one that I’d been planning on going into for five years before fibromyalgia reared its ugly head.

I went to the University of Louisville alumni breakfast this morning. I got to see a bunch of my former professors and friends! It was so good to see them again, but the hardest thing was that all of them were asking, “What are you doing?” When I told them that I was applying for jobs, starting an Etsy shop, blogging, and writing a book, their faces just showed confusion: “So you’re not going to be teaching?” I hate that! I hate that fibro has taken away that identity that I so carefully, painstakingly worked on for five years!

After my fiancé left to go to his first workshop, I came back to our hotel room. The conference center has two hotels adjoining it, so we can just use skywalks to go back and forth. I pouted for a while. I texted a few of my friends in school who aren’t music education majors, but they can’t hang out today, it being a Thursday. My family is working today, and the rest of my friends are here at this conference in the workshops. So, I was pretty bummed out.

But then I thought: They’re right, what I’m doing isn’t teaching, something I had so much potential to be great at doing. But I have the freedom to do something so different than running a band rehearsal or singing with kids. I have this opportunity as a young woman who has had her career at her fingertips, only to have it slip away one semester before graduation, to write a book about how to find value in other things and still make your dreams come true.

If I look at the main reason I want to be a teacher (other than the fact that I had a full scholarship!) it’s that I want to help people. I want to help people see what they can do even when they don’t believe they can. I want to help young, bright, uptight women like me get what they want out of life even if it’s not in the way they ever could have expected it to be. I want to help people understand that success comes in such a large variety of packages that they don’t have to feel bad about themselves or their circumstance when their college mentors look confused and say, “But why aren’t you doing what I know you’re good at and what I value?”

I am more than my condition. And I want to show other women who are struggling with this same thing that they are more than their conditions, too. We are more than our conditions.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” --Gandhi

Fibro Fashion 101: Leggings

I love clothes! I watch the fashion shows every year, I love designing my own clothes, and my closet is...well...overflowing. One of the things I also love about clothes is judging them. It sounds nasty, but everyone does it: driving down the street, walking to class, watching TV, etc. One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to fashion is leggings as pants. "Leggings are not pants" was my mantra for about a year; and then I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

For those of us with fibro, soft clothes are our friends. :-) I have definitely learned this. Leggings are still not pants! But they can be worn very tastefully with long sweaters or under dresses. 

Appropriate length of sweater over leggings.

Or more structured leggings made of thicker material than regular leggings (jeggings--although I despise that name and the ones that are trying to look like denim) with pockets on the outside can work with just a t-shirt.

Jeggings!

If you want to change the leggings up a little bit, throw on a pair of leg-warmers over them! Supercute and you can pretend that you're a dancer while you're still standing. lol

Loving the leg-warmers.

The key to knowing whether leggings look good or not by themselves lies in the...nether-region area. If it's...defined...it's inappropriate. lol Also, get a pair that fits. If the waistband is too tight, they're just going to make you hurt the same way jeans do.

The reason all of this matters is that we already have fibromyalgia; we don't need to wear something that, while it makes us feel comfortable, leads other people to judge us harshly and make us feel worse about ourselves. Some of you might say that you don't care what other people think and you're going to just wear whatever you feel good in. There's some part of me that finds that admirable, but at the same time, it's been proven that if you actually take time to make yourself look nice, you feel better about yourself. And we need all we can get to feel better about ourselves! :-)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Tip of the Day: Discipline.

Good (late) morning. Oh goodness.

Last night I stayed up until 2:30am. My fiancé is a high school teacher and his grades were due this morning. I was helping him grade for the first part of "after bedtime." And then I was watching the Australian Open women's semifinal matches while he was putting in grades. And then he got sick. So I was up WAY past my bedtime.

So what lesson can I take away from this? One that I think all fibro patients struggle with (at least for the first while after their diagnosis): discipline.

Having a schedule is so, so important, no matter what is going on around you. Should you do what you can to help the people in your life? Of course! Should you compromise your entire next day doing so? Well, honestly, that decision is up to you--obviously. But should you ever stay up watching sports that you know are going to be re-televised during an appropriate time in your time zone? Well, technically, of course it's up to you, but...no! :-) I've never stayed up so late in the morning watching tennis. Today is essentially a loss.

Here was my plan for the day: write about Hillary Clinton's hearing yesterday, do yoga, then turn on the "Project Runway" marathon, and work on my wedding dress all day.

Here's what today actually looks like because of last night: Josh is sick in bed. I'm in insane amounts of pain because I didn't get enough sleep and made my schedule weird. I'm completely foggy, so writing anything intelligent about Hillary is not happening. I'm drinking too much coffee which, while it will keep me awake, will put me in more pain this afternoon. My dress is definitely not on the table today because I don't have the brain power to make good design decisions, so I'm knitting (for my future Etsy shop opening soon!!!) instead. Oh, and the yoga? Ha.

So. Tip of the day: discipline, discipline, discipline. Not a shocking, earth-shattering tip...just one to remember and practice every chance you get.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Chivalry is Different, Not Dead

It finally feels like I'm coming to the end of this insane flare-up. Today I can type without my fingers hurting! And I'm knitting with only a little bit of pain, so that's great. Feels good to be almost back to (my) normal.

I got to thinking about our schedule over the last few days: 

Sunday: Honor choir in Louisville, stayed up until midnight

Monday: Honor choir in Louisville, didn't get home until 11:30pm

Tuesday: Josh at school from 6:30am-5pm, me intensely comatose on the couch

Wednesday: Josh at school from 6:30am-5:30pm, me still very much hanging out on the couch

Today: Josh at school from 6:15am-4pm, me starting to get better but not back to "normal"

So my fiancé is doing 10 and 11 hour days at school, then coming home to a not freshly cleaned house, not done laundry, and a very boring fiancée. 

Here's what I think: to the people who say "chivalry is dead," I say, "nope, it's just been modernized." My fiancé is the absolute definition of "chivalrous." The fact that he is willing to work every day to keep us financially going, willing to come home not knowing how I'm feeling, willing to make dinner on the nights when I'm not up for it, and willing to console me and work on trying me feel better when his days are crazy...that is chivalry. 

It used to be that to be chivalrous, you had to have a "grand gesture" to get the girl. I think now, in the 21st century, "chivalry" is whatever makes the other person feel like the most special person in the world...and that is the grand gesture. I feel like I am the most special person in the world to Josh. And I know I am. :-)

I hope that everyone who has fibromyalgia has someone as amazing as I do. If you're reading this as the partner of someone with fibromyalgia, please, please be kind to them. You make the difference in their life between living with tenacious hope and just getting by. It's hard. I know it's hard. But it's the loves of our lives that ultimately end up giving us our lives back, even if it's not how we could ever have predicted it to be. And it's usually better than we ever could have imagined.

"Be the change you wish to be in the world." --Gandhi

Flare-Ups 101

I'm in the middle of a massive flare-up. It started yesterday and is just getting worse. So, instead of continuing to watch trashy TV and feel sorry for myself, I figured I should share what makes me feel better during flare-ups in case anyone else is dealing with this today. Maybe you'll feel better, too!

The ONLY Tip: Relax. Both physically and mentally. Here's how:

Physical Tips

1. Take a warm (not hot) bath - Yes, this seems counter-intuitive because your skin is already "burning," but it actually can help. Use bubbles! Not sure if they actually help, but they make me happy. :-) Also, I have these amazing bath crystals that are "anti-anxiety"--they're very minty. I don't even like mint, but they really do calm me down.
2. Wear comfortable clothing - I have the luxury of not having to be at a full time job right now. So I'm in sweats and hoodie. Not attractive, but so comfy! If you're already hurting, why would you want to squeeze yourself into clothing made of "harder" material? Also, no heels! I spent all of Sunday in heels--could it have contributed to why I'm having such a severe flare-up now? Probably.
3. Stretch - I try to do yoga every day. I am absolutely not feeling yoga today. But if I'm watching TV, I could very easily sit on the floor with my back against the couch and do gentle stretching. This really does help me feel better (as long as I don't push too far), because it helps my blood more a little more than if I was just sitting and it can get your metabolism going a tiny bit faster.
4. Eat healthy foods - I know that a lot of fibro patients have to pay special attention to what they eat, even though they don't necessarily have food allergies. I'm no exception. If I don't eat a serving of fruit in the morning, I feel it. If I eat too much sugar, I definitely feel it. If I eat too much throughout the day, I'm comatose the next day. "Too" has to be an individually defined term; but for me, even slipping for a day or two on "healthy" food can mess me up for a few days. I know during flare-ups it's hard to eat healthy food--I just ate some chocolate I'd stashed because it makes me feel happy. But there's a difference between "happy" and "better." I will regret the chocolate later today. Flare-ups are not the time for comfort food.
5. Keep your house clean - Right now, I am having a hard time relaxing because I have dirty dishes on the end tables in the living room and snack wrappers lying around. Trust me, I know it's hard to keep it clean when you don't feel good. I was planning on cleaning it all yesterday, but I didn't because I felt so awful. But it will lower your stress levels if your house is clean.

Mental Tips

1. Don't think about work - Easier said than done, right?! I know! You are at home because you can't work, so you're freaking out in your head. After three hours of mentally freaking out, how do you feel? I'm willing to bet the answer is "not good." You need to accept that you're at home and you have to relax. Work will get done. It's always there; it's not going anywhere. So let it go.
2. Find your happy place - I accidentally stumbled upon a TV show called "Too Cute" on Animal Planet. It's about kittens from birth to eight weeks old. And they are adorable. I mean, who can't feel better after watching 44 minutes of cuteness?! So watch something cute, read something funny, or remember a great time in your life. You need to get yourself back to your happy place.
3. Recognize the good things - It is so easy to get bogged down in feeling sad and sorry for yourself. But think about what you do have. It's different for everyone, but for me, I've got my family, my fiancé, my kittens, a roof over my head, and a lot of potential. There are so many things we take for granted and, even though we have fibro, we still have it pretty good!
4. Clear your mind - Meditation is something that really helps me. It's not a religion, it's just emptying your mind of everything. It leaves you calm, but focused. If you haven't tried it, I highly recommend it!
5. Don't diss yourself - There's a huge amount of guilt that is associated with not working and being the "reason" your family is having financial problems, or your relationships aren't what you want them to be, or you're not doing enough and know you could be doing so much more, or a million other things! But you know what? Yes, you have fibro, but no, it's not your fault. So don't sit around all day telling yourself that you "suck" or you're "not contributing" and you're "not worth anything." You're great! But you'll never see it if you always look at yourself through a cloud of "not good enough."

I hope this helps some people! I hate flare-ups, but with these basic tools, you should be able to get through them a little bit easier. :-)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Weekend Recap

Well, I haven't been very good about this blog so far. I've been so busy! And now, as those of you who have fibro can understand, I'm paying for it. I went to Louisville on Sunday and Monday with my fiancé for a choir event at the university with seven of his students. I wast even an official chaperone and I got overwhelmed with the kids. They were great kids--smart, polite, great singers--but they were so loud and hyped up! On Sunday evening it was alright, because I just excused myself and went up to the hotel room, where I got to watch my Patriots beat the Texans as well as the Golden Globes! By myself. :-)

We stayed up until midnight on Sunday night, and I was a little bit nervous about how Monday would go. But I woke up feeling alright; until we had to check out of the hotel. That's when I realized I was going to have be 'out' all day. First I went to Starbucks, where I did my blog for the day. Then I went to brunch with one of my friends. After that, we went back to her place for a while. She had to be at work at the university in the afternoon, and that's where the honor choir was taking place, so I went with her.

It was so great to be back at school! I got to see a few of my former professors and classmates. Then my sister came down to school and we got coffee. It was so nice to be back in Louisville with the people I know and doing the things I got used to doing in college!

After that whole day, we still had the concert to get through! We ended up not leaving the university until after 9:30! And had a two hour drive ahead of us.

Yesterday and today I've been having the worst flare-up! My skin is sensitive, my joints are exploding, and all the lights an and sounds are going through my skin. Its so weird because I don't usually have flare-ups like this. I'm writing this on my phone because it hurts too much to push my computer keys down. It's nuts!

My fiancé is the best ever: before he went to work I was bemoaning the fact that I have a lot to do today but it hurt too much. He said, "just do what you can and don't push yourself; if that's taking two dishes to the kitchen and then sitting for 15 minutes, do that." I'm so lucky. :-) Best man in the world.

I promise I will be better at keeping this blog up--please keep reading! xoxo

Perfectly Normal...?

The typical fibromyalgia patient hears this line all too often: "Well, everything looks perfectly normal..." I got to hear that this morning again. I've been having eye problems (blurring, shadowing) and I've had an MRI that is perfectly beautiful, doctor appointments during which I pass tests almost flawlessly, and today the neuro-opthamologist (I didn't even know that job existed a month ago) said it wasn't neurological (good?) but he doesn't know what it could be because physically, I'm just fine, too. He said it might be an irregular astigmatism, but I have to wait a week to find out, and honestly, he didn't seem too positive about that possibility.

I just want to scream!!! How many times does this have to happen?! I've seen four neurologists, two opthamologists, a rheumatologist, four maxillofacial specialists, a sleep doctor, a cardiologist, an allergist, and two primary care physicians. I'm exhausted! All of those doctors ended up saying that there's nothing physically wrong with me. I'm not really sure who else to see. I guess an endocrinologist would be good probably, with the hypothyroidism, but I don't think that has much to do with my eyes.

So...today I got a tweet from the Cincinnati ABC affiliate that said, "Hope you're having a positive Monday!" It was exactly what I needed. I am so annoyed and tired of doctors, but there are people, and even entire organizations, who are there to lift us up when we need it. I wasn't having a very positive day, but I think if I demand that I have a positive Monday for the rest of today, I can make that happen!

Today demand of yourself a positive attitude. Even if you don't get enough done or are lost in your fibrofog, believe that there are better days ahead and find beauty and happiness in the little things. And don't worry about being "perfectly normal"--there are way too many normal people in the world. Take this opportunity of being different to do something great.

And if you can't find something to smile about, here's a photo of my beautiful Russian Blue kitten; he can always make me smile. :)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Introduction

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia almost one year ago and narcolepsy about eight months ago. The fibromyalgia has completely changed how I expected my life to go. I graduated from the University of Louisville in May of last year with my bachelor's degree in music education. All through my undergrad I expected to get a teaching job as soon as I got my degree. After the worst student teaching experience before I graduated, though, with people being incredibly unfeeling and refusing to understand what I was going through, I realized I wasn't going to be able to have the full-time job I'd expected to get.

My fiancé got a teaching job in Florence, Kentucky, so we packed up and moved. We have a charming little apartment and two beautiful kittens. The thinking we had was that I would work on my health for a year and then apply for teaching jobs in the summer of 2013. We've been up here for just over six months and I still haven't figured out how to diminish my stress levels to the point I can introduce the great stress of taking a teaching job.

I've been trying to figure out how to make a meaningful contribution to society while being able to not stress myself out too much. I started the ChickOpinion blog in August. It had good success, so I started ChickOpinion.com in October. The site is doing alright, but because of some medication trials I was on for the fibro pain, the site suffered in December. I've been thinking about how to expand it and make it more than just an opinion site about the news.

This blog is going to be about my own journey with fibromyalgia and what I'm still learning that I can share with other young women to hopefully help them. So many of the books and websites out there about fibromyalgia are very medically-minded, which is fine, except that they don't talk about the societal or emotional effects of having fibro. I want this to be something that is specifically for young women because younger and younger women and girls (even in high school!) are getting fibromyalgia now and there is nothing out there that is able to give us ideas or tips on how to get through it in our 20's. I will try to keep the most positive disposition to make it fun, but, as you well know if you have fibro, not every day is a walk in the park!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi