Fibro Fashion 101: Leggings

I love clothes! I watch the fashion shows every year, I love designing my own clothes, and my closet is...well...overflowing. One of the things I also love about clothes is judging them. It sounds nasty, but everyone does it: driving down the street, walking to class, watching TV, etc. One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to fashion is leggings as pants. "Leggings are not pants" was my mantra for about a year; and then I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

For those of us with fibro, soft clothes are our friends. :-) I have definitely learned this. Leggings are still not pants! But they can be worn very tastefully with long sweaters or under dresses. 

Appropriate length of sweater over leggings.

Or more structured leggings made of thicker material than regular leggings (jeggings--although I despise that name and the ones that are trying to look like denim) with pockets on the outside can work with just a t-shirt.

Jeggings!

If you want to change the leggings up a little bit, throw on a pair of leg-warmers over them! Supercute and you can pretend that you're a dancer while you're still standing. lol

Loving the leg-warmers.

The key to knowing whether leggings look good or not by themselves lies in the...nether-region area. If it's...defined...it's inappropriate. lol Also, get a pair that fits. If the waistband is too tight, they're just going to make you hurt the same way jeans do.

The reason all of this matters is that we already have fibromyalgia; we don't need to wear something that, while it makes us feel comfortable, leads other people to judge us harshly and make us feel worse about ourselves. Some of you might say that you don't care what other people think and you're going to just wear whatever you feel good in. There's some part of me that finds that admirable, but at the same time, it's been proven that if you actually take time to make yourself look nice, you feel better about yourself. And we need all we can get to feel better about ourselves! :-)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Tip of the Day: Discipline.

Good (late) morning. Oh goodness.

Last night I stayed up until 2:30am. My fiancé is a high school teacher and his grades were due this morning. I was helping him grade for the first part of "after bedtime." And then I was watching the Australian Open women's semifinal matches while he was putting in grades. And then he got sick. So I was up WAY past my bedtime.

So what lesson can I take away from this? One that I think all fibro patients struggle with (at least for the first while after their diagnosis): discipline.

Having a schedule is so, so important, no matter what is going on around you. Should you do what you can to help the people in your life? Of course! Should you compromise your entire next day doing so? Well, honestly, that decision is up to you--obviously. But should you ever stay up watching sports that you know are going to be re-televised during an appropriate time in your time zone? Well, technically, of course it's up to you, but...no! :-) I've never stayed up so late in the morning watching tennis. Today is essentially a loss.

Here was my plan for the day: write about Hillary Clinton's hearing yesterday, do yoga, then turn on the "Project Runway" marathon, and work on my wedding dress all day.

Here's what today actually looks like because of last night: Josh is sick in bed. I'm in insane amounts of pain because I didn't get enough sleep and made my schedule weird. I'm completely foggy, so writing anything intelligent about Hillary is not happening. I'm drinking too much coffee which, while it will keep me awake, will put me in more pain this afternoon. My dress is definitely not on the table today because I don't have the brain power to make good design decisions, so I'm knitting (for my future Etsy shop opening soon!!!) instead. Oh, and the yoga? Ha.

So. Tip of the day: discipline, discipline, discipline. Not a shocking, earth-shattering tip...just one to remember and practice every chance you get.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Chivalry is Different, Not Dead

It finally feels like I'm coming to the end of this insane flare-up. Today I can type without my fingers hurting! And I'm knitting with only a little bit of pain, so that's great. Feels good to be almost back to (my) normal.

I got to thinking about our schedule over the last few days: 

Sunday: Honor choir in Louisville, stayed up until midnight

Monday: Honor choir in Louisville, didn't get home until 11:30pm

Tuesday: Josh at school from 6:30am-5pm, me intensely comatose on the couch

Wednesday: Josh at school from 6:30am-5:30pm, me still very much hanging out on the couch

Today: Josh at school from 6:15am-4pm, me starting to get better but not back to "normal"

So my fiancé is doing 10 and 11 hour days at school, then coming home to a not freshly cleaned house, not done laundry, and a very boring fiancée. 

Here's what I think: to the people who say "chivalry is dead," I say, "nope, it's just been modernized." My fiancé is the absolute definition of "chivalrous." The fact that he is willing to work every day to keep us financially going, willing to come home not knowing how I'm feeling, willing to make dinner on the nights when I'm not up for it, and willing to console me and work on trying me feel better when his days are crazy...that is chivalry. 

It used to be that to be chivalrous, you had to have a "grand gesture" to get the girl. I think now, in the 21st century, "chivalry" is whatever makes the other person feel like the most special person in the world...and that is the grand gesture. I feel like I am the most special person in the world to Josh. And I know I am. :-)

I hope that everyone who has fibromyalgia has someone as amazing as I do. If you're reading this as the partner of someone with fibromyalgia, please, please be kind to them. You make the difference in their life between living with tenacious hope and just getting by. It's hard. I know it's hard. But it's the loves of our lives that ultimately end up giving us our lives back, even if it's not how we could ever have predicted it to be. And it's usually better than we ever could have imagined.

"Be the change you wish to be in the world." --Gandhi

Flare-Ups 101

I'm in the middle of a massive flare-up. It started yesterday and is just getting worse. So, instead of continuing to watch trashy TV and feel sorry for myself, I figured I should share what makes me feel better during flare-ups in case anyone else is dealing with this today. Maybe you'll feel better, too!

The ONLY Tip: Relax. Both physically and mentally. Here's how:

Physical Tips

1. Take a warm (not hot) bath - Yes, this seems counter-intuitive because your skin is already "burning," but it actually can help. Use bubbles! Not sure if they actually help, but they make me happy. :-) Also, I have these amazing bath crystals that are "anti-anxiety"--they're very minty. I don't even like mint, but they really do calm me down.
2. Wear comfortable clothing - I have the luxury of not having to be at a full time job right now. So I'm in sweats and hoodie. Not attractive, but so comfy! If you're already hurting, why would you want to squeeze yourself into clothing made of "harder" material? Also, no heels! I spent all of Sunday in heels--could it have contributed to why I'm having such a severe flare-up now? Probably.
3. Stretch - I try to do yoga every day. I am absolutely not feeling yoga today. But if I'm watching TV, I could very easily sit on the floor with my back against the couch and do gentle stretching. This really does help me feel better (as long as I don't push too far), because it helps my blood more a little more than if I was just sitting and it can get your metabolism going a tiny bit faster.
4. Eat healthy foods - I know that a lot of fibro patients have to pay special attention to what they eat, even though they don't necessarily have food allergies. I'm no exception. If I don't eat a serving of fruit in the morning, I feel it. If I eat too much sugar, I definitely feel it. If I eat too much throughout the day, I'm comatose the next day. "Too" has to be an individually defined term; but for me, even slipping for a day or two on "healthy" food can mess me up for a few days. I know during flare-ups it's hard to eat healthy food--I just ate some chocolate I'd stashed because it makes me feel happy. But there's a difference between "happy" and "better." I will regret the chocolate later today. Flare-ups are not the time for comfort food.
5. Keep your house clean - Right now, I am having a hard time relaxing because I have dirty dishes on the end tables in the living room and snack wrappers lying around. Trust me, I know it's hard to keep it clean when you don't feel good. I was planning on cleaning it all yesterday, but I didn't because I felt so awful. But it will lower your stress levels if your house is clean.

Mental Tips

1. Don't think about work - Easier said than done, right?! I know! You are at home because you can't work, so you're freaking out in your head. After three hours of mentally freaking out, how do you feel? I'm willing to bet the answer is "not good." You need to accept that you're at home and you have to relax. Work will get done. It's always there; it's not going anywhere. So let it go.
2. Find your happy place - I accidentally stumbled upon a TV show called "Too Cute" on Animal Planet. It's about kittens from birth to eight weeks old. And they are adorable. I mean, who can't feel better after watching 44 minutes of cuteness?! So watch something cute, read something funny, or remember a great time in your life. You need to get yourself back to your happy place.
3. Recognize the good things - It is so easy to get bogged down in feeling sad and sorry for yourself. But think about what you do have. It's different for everyone, but for me, I've got my family, my fiancé, my kittens, a roof over my head, and a lot of potential. There are so many things we take for granted and, even though we have fibro, we still have it pretty good!
4. Clear your mind - Meditation is something that really helps me. It's not a religion, it's just emptying your mind of everything. It leaves you calm, but focused. If you haven't tried it, I highly recommend it!
5. Don't diss yourself - There's a huge amount of guilt that is associated with not working and being the "reason" your family is having financial problems, or your relationships aren't what you want them to be, or you're not doing enough and know you could be doing so much more, or a million other things! But you know what? Yes, you have fibro, but no, it's not your fault. So don't sit around all day telling yourself that you "suck" or you're "not contributing" and you're "not worth anything." You're great! But you'll never see it if you always look at yourself through a cloud of "not good enough."

I hope this helps some people! I hate flare-ups, but with these basic tools, you should be able to get through them a little bit easier. :-)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Weekend Recap

Well, I haven't been very good about this blog so far. I've been so busy! And now, as those of you who have fibro can understand, I'm paying for it. I went to Louisville on Sunday and Monday with my fiancé for a choir event at the university with seven of his students. I wast even an official chaperone and I got overwhelmed with the kids. They were great kids--smart, polite, great singers--but they were so loud and hyped up! On Sunday evening it was alright, because I just excused myself and went up to the hotel room, where I got to watch my Patriots beat the Texans as well as the Golden Globes! By myself. :-)

We stayed up until midnight on Sunday night, and I was a little bit nervous about how Monday would go. But I woke up feeling alright; until we had to check out of the hotel. That's when I realized I was going to have be 'out' all day. First I went to Starbucks, where I did my blog for the day. Then I went to brunch with one of my friends. After that, we went back to her place for a while. She had to be at work at the university in the afternoon, and that's where the honor choir was taking place, so I went with her.

It was so great to be back at school! I got to see a few of my former professors and classmates. Then my sister came down to school and we got coffee. It was so nice to be back in Louisville with the people I know and doing the things I got used to doing in college!

After that whole day, we still had the concert to get through! We ended up not leaving the university until after 9:30! And had a two hour drive ahead of us.

Yesterday and today I've been having the worst flare-up! My skin is sensitive, my joints are exploding, and all the lights an and sounds are going through my skin. Its so weird because I don't usually have flare-ups like this. I'm writing this on my phone because it hurts too much to push my computer keys down. It's nuts!

My fiancé is the best ever: before he went to work I was bemoaning the fact that I have a lot to do today but it hurt too much. He said, "just do what you can and don't push yourself; if that's taking two dishes to the kitchen and then sitting for 15 minutes, do that." I'm so lucky. :-) Best man in the world.

I promise I will be better at keeping this blog up--please keep reading! xoxo

Perfectly Normal...?

The typical fibromyalgia patient hears this line all too often: "Well, everything looks perfectly normal..." I got to hear that this morning again. I've been having eye problems (blurring, shadowing) and I've had an MRI that is perfectly beautiful, doctor appointments during which I pass tests almost flawlessly, and today the neuro-opthamologist (I didn't even know that job existed a month ago) said it wasn't neurological (good?) but he doesn't know what it could be because physically, I'm just fine, too. He said it might be an irregular astigmatism, but I have to wait a week to find out, and honestly, he didn't seem too positive about that possibility.

I just want to scream!!! How many times does this have to happen?! I've seen four neurologists, two opthamologists, a rheumatologist, four maxillofacial specialists, a sleep doctor, a cardiologist, an allergist, and two primary care physicians. I'm exhausted! All of those doctors ended up saying that there's nothing physically wrong with me. I'm not really sure who else to see. I guess an endocrinologist would be good probably, with the hypothyroidism, but I don't think that has much to do with my eyes.

So...today I got a tweet from the Cincinnati ABC affiliate that said, "Hope you're having a positive Monday!" It was exactly what I needed. I am so annoyed and tired of doctors, but there are people, and even entire organizations, who are there to lift us up when we need it. I wasn't having a very positive day, but I think if I demand that I have a positive Monday for the rest of today, I can make that happen!

Today demand of yourself a positive attitude. Even if you don't get enough done or are lost in your fibrofog, believe that there are better days ahead and find beauty and happiness in the little things. And don't worry about being "perfectly normal"--there are way too many normal people in the world. Take this opportunity of being different to do something great.

And if you can't find something to smile about, here's a photo of my beautiful Russian Blue kitten; he can always make me smile. :)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Introduction

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia almost one year ago and narcolepsy about eight months ago. The fibromyalgia has completely changed how I expected my life to go. I graduated from the University of Louisville in May of last year with my bachelor's degree in music education. All through my undergrad I expected to get a teaching job as soon as I got my degree. After the worst student teaching experience before I graduated, though, with people being incredibly unfeeling and refusing to understand what I was going through, I realized I wasn't going to be able to have the full-time job I'd expected to get.

My fiancé got a teaching job in Florence, Kentucky, so we packed up and moved. We have a charming little apartment and two beautiful kittens. The thinking we had was that I would work on my health for a year and then apply for teaching jobs in the summer of 2013. We've been up here for just over six months and I still haven't figured out how to diminish my stress levels to the point I can introduce the great stress of taking a teaching job.

I've been trying to figure out how to make a meaningful contribution to society while being able to not stress myself out too much. I started the ChickOpinion blog in August. It had good success, so I started ChickOpinion.com in October. The site is doing alright, but because of some medication trials I was on for the fibro pain, the site suffered in December. I've been thinking about how to expand it and make it more than just an opinion site about the news.

This blog is going to be about my own journey with fibromyalgia and what I'm still learning that I can share with other young women to hopefully help them. So many of the books and websites out there about fibromyalgia are very medically-minded, which is fine, except that they don't talk about the societal or emotional effects of having fibro. I want this to be something that is specifically for young women because younger and younger women and girls (even in high school!) are getting fibromyalgia now and there is nothing out there that is able to give us ideas or tips on how to get through it in our 20's. I will try to keep the most positive disposition to make it fun, but, as you well know if you have fibro, not every day is a walk in the park!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi